


Life Is Very Funny

by afteriwake



Category: Bleach, Doctor Who, Firefly, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anthea is the Best PA, Background Simon/Kaylee, Established Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Mycroft-centric, Poor Sherlock, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 11:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5246786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you just get caught in a situation which is amusing, to at least <i>somebody</i> if not yourself. Here's to just some of those humorous or awkward moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Is Very Funny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> So this is another attempt to consolidate some of my older drabbles with a few new ones, focusing on some of the funnier ones I had in my collection. The title comes for the quote "Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it" by Jacques Tati.

  
**Just So You Know**  
Bleach  
_Abrari Renji/Kotetsu Isane, Kuchiki Rukia & Unohana Retsu_   


“Renji!” Rukia hissed his name from outside his division headquarters, where he had just left his office. He jumped, then turned quickly and glared at his old friend.

“What?” he hissed back.

“Captain Unohana wants to see you,” she said. “She says she owes you something.”

He paused, and then nodded as his mind began working a million miles an hour. What could she possibly owe him? He couldn't remember loaning her anything, or giving her anything. What could she possibly want? Turning the question over in his mind he travelled along the walkways until he got to the Fourth Division headquarters. He made his way to her office and knocked hesitantly.

“Yes?” the soft voice asked on the other side of the door.

“It's Renji. I mean, Lieutenant Abarai.”

“Oh please, come in.” He opened the door and saw her rise, a smile on her face. “I wanted to thank you for spending more time with my lieutenant upon our return. She has told me that having someone to talk to who can understand what happened in Hueco Mundo has helped greatly.”

He blushed slightly. “It's not a problem.”

She went around the desk. “Still. You have my thanks.” And then she paused, gave him her sweetest smile, and narrowed her eyes just slightly. He’d never been more scared in his life. “And if you hurt her, in any way, you will not like what happens. Understood?”

He swallowed, and then nodded vigorously. “Understood.”

“Have a good evening,” she replied, and he made a quick exit. She went back to her desk and sat down, feeling confident that things would continue to work out well for her lieutenant.

  
**One Small Detail**  
Sherlock  
_Mycroft Holmes & Anthea (implied Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)_   


Mycroft exited the sedan and swiftly made his way back towards his office. It had been a rather pleasant lunch, all things considered, not that there had been much time spent eating. It wasn’t as though he got much time alone with his lover these days. He supposed he had to make the most of it, squeezing in these brief moments when he could. A brief meal of prawn sweet chilli noodle salad at his home that had taken perhaps twenty minutes to eat, for what little they had eaten, followed by a half hour in the bedroom had been time well spent. He certainly felt better. Chipper, even.

He nodded at Anthea as he made his way into the office. “Tell the Kenyan delegate the meeting will be twenty minutes late, but that I’ve considered the offer and it looks promising, and so long as there have been no significant changes I see no trouble with an agreement being reached.”

“I’ll let her know,” Anthea said, following him into the office. “But you might want to know that before you see her, you didn’t rebutton your shirt right.” Mycroft looked down and saw that, indeed, the buttons were off. He looked up and saw a slight smirk on her face. “I didn’t realize detective inspectors were such a distraction. Perhaps I should get one of my own. Or maybe you could share?” He scowled and she laughed as she left his office, shutting the door behind her to give him privacy to right himself. There went _his_ good mood…

  
**Here Kitty Kitty**  
Bleach  
_Kurosaki Ichigo/Inoue Orihime_   


“Kurosaki-kun, what's wrong?”

He'd dropped his bag on the floor, and is staring at his girlfriend in shock. With the ears and the tail he's shocked she doesn't have fur, but he's faced with an Inoue/cat hybrid sitting on his bed. No, more like curled up on his bed. Curled up like a big cuddly human shaped feline.

She got up off the bed and every step she took was imbued with feline grace. She practically slinked up to him, and when she got to him she wrapped her arms around his neck and stared at him, her eyes wide with confusion. “Kurosaki-kun?”

At that precise moment her tail brushed along one of his legs and he jumped up, her arms pulling away quickly as he took a step back. “Inoue...can't you control the tail?”

“Tail?” she asked. He pointed down and to her left, and she turned. There was an audible gasp, and then her hands flew to her face. “I have a tail!”

“Ears, too,” he said weakly. Her hands moved to the top of her head and she felt the soft tipped cat ears that hadn't been there when he had seen her three hours before. She frantically touched her face, her chest, her arms, then looked at him, confused and scared. “Inoue, where did you go today?”

“Well, Rukia needed to go to Urahara-san's shop so we went there and I looked around as they talked and Hanakari-kun saw I was looking at some candy and gave me a piece and then I came here and you weren't here so I decided to take a nap in the sun.” She looked close to tears. “I always thought it would be fun to be a cat, but I want to go outside today and now I can't!”

He went over and hugged her, smoothing her hair back behind her cat ears, ignoring her tail as best he could. As soon as it was dark enough, he was going to flash step her to Urahara's and make him turn her back to normal, after her kicked that bratty half-pint's butt for a good while. If she wasn't happy, then he'd do whatever it took to make things right.

He just hoped this wasn't permanent, because no one deserved to look like this for the rest of their life, no matter how sexy cat ears made them.

  
**Tied Up**  
Firefly/Serenity  
_Jayne Cobb, Mal Reynolds & Simon Tam_   


"Gorramit, Jayne! Stop tugging!"

Jayne pulled at the ropes binding the two men together. "This ain't the worst situation we've been in, Mal."

"Yeah, but you shoulda known better than to barge into the Doc's room," Mal hissed. "Shoulda knocked first."

"Well, it was an emergency," Jayne said, giving up on the ropes. "Gotta admit, though, if we ever need anyone tied up tight we should just have Kaylee do it."

"Yeah, she is a might good at tying people up," Mal replied as the door opened.

"Gentlemen," Simon said. "Kaylee isn't quite as upset with you anymore. She said I could untie you now."

"Wasn't our fault you had ta go and propose to her," Jayne grumbled as Simon looked at the knot.

"Well, I was doing it in private for a reason," he said, deciding it would just be easier to cut the knots and reaching for the knife holstered in Jayne's ankle sheath. "I had hoped for a more enthusiastic response. May I?"

"If it gets me outta here quicker, go for it," Jayne said.

"She said yes, by the way," Simon said, cutting through the knots and handing Jayne back his knife.

"Reckon we should celebrate," Mal said, standing up and rubbing his wrists. "Congratulations, Doc."

"Thanks," Simon said with a grin. "I'll go get her."

"Why for?"Jayne asked.

"So you two can apologize," he said as he walked away.

"I will never understand the way that woman thinks," Jayne muttered.

"Me either," Mal replied. "I just know I don't ever want to cross her again."

"Yeah, me either."

  
**Getting To Be The Hero**  
Bleach  
_Kon_   


It was hard being an adventurous soul trapped in a lion's body. How he yearned for adventure! His very being was tied into the feelings he felt when he had the chance to escape the monotony of his existence, the moments when he was in Ichigo's body and having an adventure of his own while Ichigo was doing the boring stuff.

And today was such an occasion! He'd heard Orihime shriek and off he went. It wasn't the playful shriek she usually had, so he knew something was wrong. He ran as fast as Ichigo's legs would get him to her. Faster, faster, up the hill...

And he was too late, because Ichigo was there in full shinigami regalia. But he was fighting the Hollow. Could he...could he actually get her away? He could. He could! So he ran up to her, grabbed her arm, and pulled her out of harm's way before the Hollow leveled the telephone pole she had been next to. The way it fell, it would have killed her!

Of course, she was worried about her beloved Kurosaki-kun, and he even felt a little jealous, but then she turned and smiled at him and thanked him. By name, even! And he didn't care if Ichigo saw, he was going to float right on down the street, happy that she had seen him as the hero he truly was.

  
**Damned Scrap Of Fabric**  
Sherlock/Doctor Who  
_Sherlock Holmes/Amy Pond_   


She finished tying the bowtie around his neck and then stepped away to admire her handiwork. She was trying quite hard not to laugh at the scowl on his face but she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped, and that just made the scowl worse. When she picked up her mobile he shook his head. “No. Absolutely not,” he said, his hand going for the scrap of fabric around his neck.

“Oh no you don’t, Sherlock,” she said, batting his hand away. “You lost that bet. You were so damn sure you would win, you were so cocky about it, so now you have to eat crow and wear the bowtie all day. _And_ ,” she added with a wicked grin. “Out in public, too.” She snapped a picture on her mobile. “For the Doctor.”

He had a look on his face that shouted ‘shoot me now’ and she knew that she might, _might_ be nice and put him out of his misery if there were any paparazzi out, but until that point, Mr. Sherlock “I know all there is to know about classical music whoops! I know nothing about ballet” Holmes would be forced to wear a bow tie while she walked around with a big grin on her face. He should just be thankful she had a heart and hadn’t made him dress like the Doctor’s twin brother. That would have simply been grounds for justifiable homicide.

  
**Fireworks**  
Bleach  
_Kuchiki Byakuya/Kusajishi Yachiru_   


There were times his voice got on her nerves. Sure, she didn't have to be intruding his home, his personal space, but she'd been doing it since she was a kid and she considered it fun. But at Captain Mom's...no, Captain Unohana's suggestion, he was trying to make her into a respected lady instead of the hellion and troublemaker she'd been since she arrived in Seirieiti. And sometimes it was fun. But right now? It was boring.

"I went on a date last night."

He stopped and looked at her. He always appeared calm, no matter what she said. Once she ran in, screaming that she had set something or other on fire, she couldn't remember what, and he just calmly got a servant to put the fire out. She decided at that point it would be her life's mission to illicit some sort of reaction from him. “That has no bearing to what we are doing right now.”

“Don'tcha want to hear about it?”

“Not really, no.” But she looked closely at him. His jaw was set, his teeth were almost clenched, his fists were balled up and...was he getting angry? She smiled slightly. Yes, he was getting angry.

“I had a really good time. We went and set off fireworks, and spared a bit, and then he took me back to my place and—”

But she stopped talking when he pulled her over and kissed her. She had wanted that for so long, ever since she realized she was capable of having those kinds of feelings. She kissed him back softly, then with slow growing passion until he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. “The next time you want fireworks,” he said quietly, “I will provide them.”

She laughed slightly. “If I knew lying about a date would have gotten that reaction I would have done it years ago,” she said softly.

“So there was no date?” he asked, pulling away to look at her.

“No, there was, but he made it ten minutes before he put his hands on me and I beat the crap out of him.”

He had a small smile on his face. “That's good.”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “So...can I get some more fireworks?” And he leaned in and kissed her again, and sure enough, fireworks went off in her mind, and she was glad for a little white lie.


End file.
